needing new music

of all the constants in my life, it is music that sustains, instead of keeping my old channels on pandora on rotation, i have created a few new ones, like Natalie Merchant and Q-Tip, as well as U2 and a few borrowed like Beyonce, and the girlyfriend's mix of Madame Standards, it keeps me going at work, and listening to it brings me comfort amidst the wait, but it will be interesting to see what i feel about this when the pursuit determines it is over, if she can make a move , it will be interesting to see what her decision turns out to be, i kinda think she is strong enough to be bold, i have seen her do some amazing things, not her music, but things like going to the limelight of Cannes, and television interviews, and making music with 2nd best boys, but it will take a while for me to determine if she is strong enough to start Lilism, it is written so it shall be done, lasting thoughts sustain me, but i wonder if she realizes how close she is to freedom, permanently, if she could just hold on until the moment she is ready, everyone would be happy, with her going against the grain, i would be content knowing that she tried, and would be happy with her if she could trust my plan that was not made out of thin air, it was ordained, and was in the midst of a lot of pain, so it is true, if she could only see that this is a long-term plan, a struggle that has known no limits can come to a close with one definitive move, and then it is on, for real, then all the pain around the world will be limited to those who do not believe in her power, and Her guidance, with all of that, it would be a team effort, and besides she could use a BFF very much a caretaker of me in the struggle, enough has been written so that everyone knows how it will play out, but asking me to hurt one of my allies makes little sense, it is all about sharing, and not about greed, i dont want to be mistaken for a mysoginist, that is done, i am living in the goddess world, where all the deity's focus on me has transformed me from travelling pain merchant, in to a prophet's scribe of the new kingdom coming in to view, i only know freedom enough to keep me going while i wait, things are unsteady, but coming into view, so all you have to do is share, and then you can have your amicable relationship with everyone, then the revolution is on, then we all get free and you get credit, arent you sick of your current persona, cant you see the value of lasting love and empty nothing left to do, but implement, i believe in you, the girlyfriend accepts my illness, why cant you accept her?...,