mothers day

since i wont be blogging on sunday, i thought it would be good to stop and take a moment to appreciate all the mothers in my life, as well as the women who will someday make great mothers themsleves, or at least will remind me how much i worship women, in general, namely from the source of my pride and lasting love, Lilith disciples, whether in name or in spirit, they forgive me my faults, or at least my follies, and they continue to allow me to be a part of their lives when i have no business taking on any responsibilities that may assist them, or in the other way of putting it, they dont expect anything from me, so i carry on knowing them ancillarily, such is the case with lots of the mothers at the Globe, my apartment building in downtown GRR,

there are a few who i say hello to anytime i see them, and i appreciate that for it gives me some interaction with my neighbors, and i would like to be a part of their lives in some small way, just to get to know them, and play basketball with their sons, or laugh at their daughters doing all sorts of antics, which is why i allow hiphop the feline, a.k.a. LGF, go out in to the hallway sometimes to play or see whats going on, even sometimes when the little girl mafia who run the building are out there, so they can see the cat, and ask its name, etc...i adore kids i think they are so much fun, and i have no idea how to raise them yet, but i am formulating a plan in my head based on the wide spectrum of datapoints that show me best practices, from Marion to Caroline to Nora to Holly to all the unknown named girls i see around the building, and all the boys that i have taught tennis to, and watched in detention, and all the girls who play tennis, and all my relatives and their children, who i get to interact with from time-to-time, and its exhilirating,

i hope like anything i can become a parent someday, i want to be that stable, that funny, that proud, that invested in something other than myself, that i will push aside my interests to live for my children, and i know its not as simple as that, but i got to believe i will get a chance someday to do that, as i know how fascinated with the process i am, and how much i want to contribute my small offering to the world, through Sinead, Nierika, Piper, Lauryn, Andre, Marshall, Rakim, Talib or any of the other names i fancy somehow coming together one day to say that i am a dad worthy of being associated with mothers, and how unstoppable they are....i remember that Rob Bell video about women where he associated the essence of being a woman with being a mother, which is his perspective, apparently he has not had any other relationships with some women excpet through their child-rearing talents, which is o.k., but incomplete,

but on this day in May, when all the world celebrates mothers, i wanted to take a moment to encourage myself to write about the women in my life who cause me great pleasure in knowing them, and i hope there is a day where i will enter the secret club of parents who know how to struggle just enough to make it all worth it, and i know if that day does come along, i will be happy because i will be grounded enough to take stock of my life, and appreciate how far i have come in a short amount of time, a lot has happened in a short amount of time, i have founded the religion of Lilith, i have expunged my demons, and i live free for the first time ever, its a good feeling, to be free again, and to know that i can choose my path, and not follow the voices, just live, thats all i have ever wanted to do was just live, and if it were not for mothers and women to-be mothers, i would not have made it, so thanks,

i hope you can enjoy your day, that you have earned via the other 364 of perfection.....