re-reading the book

for the very first time, man, if i could just put an album together with it, it would be one of the sloppiest releases ever put out, and i think thats alright, as far as amateur, first time publications go, i talked it over with the first person to ever read the book, and she agrees that its a bit masturbatory opus like, as if the prophetess is ever going to see it, much less do i even care at this point, as i got no females becoming lohembak or lilith (my two new terms for lezzz lifestyle lingo), and if you dont know what those two words mean, the first is a verb such as to lohembak someone you have great admiration for and lilith is the all-encompassing term for quasi-bisexual, LAM (lesbian after marriage), hetero-curious, and alternative lesbian that dabbles with guys, perhaps as Ani among others are examples, so there is grey area there is undoubtedly always going to be grey with women, you cant get them to be identified strictly almost myopically with any one genre, of huma species, so you get terms of in-between, such as:

'...the two liliths that i saw today at Sparrow remind me of why i lohembak them...'

but that book is straight-up bizarre as it does not have a story-line it is simply the musings, of my brain on the topic of trying to get the goddess in to view, through the prophetess, who is so undercover i cant even see her anymore, she has fallen from sight, and so i push on, and look for additonal outlets for me to do my work, like with new liliths that may or may not come in to view, as the original lezz contingnecy of the GRR l Word are playing tough-to-get, i know its a lot to ask, to become a lesbian for the sake of my business plans, so i can have something to write about around the city streets of GRR, but someone has to make some moves around here, and i think it should be you, why not, why not try it out, and let me write a biography on your life, your experiences, even if you are the only one, it would be worth a good amount of information and findings, about how the lifestyle works,

none of this would be possible without the talents of all the artists circling the globe making the most of their talents who give me pause that perhaps it is conceivable that it could be worthwhile to continue to shoot-the-moon on this proposal and see how far it goes, just for the sheer entertainment of it and though i cant come up with even a direction to go for a second step, a follow up move to my initial foray via the book being published, its in the back of my mind, and i will continue to post, as much as i can allow myself the pain of not knowing whether regret is a newfound emotion that i have, though i doubt it, its just tough to know that it makes absolutely zero sense to anyone, including myself, from time to time on a monday, when the world is spinning again, so i know its basically dead,

i can feel it, the pursuit of 6+ years is over, but the dream of crafting a goddess-inspired message, remains, and is still an initiative that i find worthy of exploring, so we'll see, i need something to break before i head down the path again, after being burned once, i would need to lohembak a girl, or get an album produced or something, but at the moment that appears to be a long-shot, without much hope of something settling in to fill the void, sorry for the downer message, but thats the reality, and i need a spark to continue.....